20.  Are you not feeling good for any reason?

Please know that it is not unusual to feel “scared”, “a lack of energy”,” negative”,” bad” or anything else that depletes your energy, in response to decisions about your child or advice given to you by the school, medical community, family, or any other individual.

All the professionals you consult (and others) may have a lot of knowledge about medications and diseases, or experience from raising their own children or teaching children for many years.   However, the specialist in your child is you.  No one on this earth is closer to your child and knows more about him/her than you do.  He or she entrusts to you their decision making power until they are an adult.

Some people find that their feelings inside, in particular, their stomach, heart or throat, will guide them to the path that is right for them, their family and their child.   If you are one of those people who feel this, then this “internal compass” can be a valuable guide for you and your child.  You may find that the more you exercise this ability to sense inside yourself, this “internal listening,” then the more your path will grow easy and you will feel more self assured.  However, do not be hard on yourself.  Even if you feel you do have this ability, you still need support, especially if your school or family or medical community or anyone else (or any combination) is directing you down a path with which you are uncomfortable.

Here are some examples of sensations that may help you with internal listening: 

• Lump in the throat

• Chest tightness or pains

• Stomach pains or nausea

• Sick feelings

• Aches

• A small voice

Please also realize that these could be signs of a physical illness and should be evaluated.  For example, one person we know had chest pains when dealing with the school system and her family.  She went to a heart (cardiovascular) specialist, and had an EKG along with a thorough evaluation for heart disease.  When all the tests were normal (without evidence of problems with her physical heart), she realized that her internal voice was telling her that she needed to explore other options.  For her, changing schools was the option that felt good to her, and this turned out well, as she found a school that would work with her.  When her child started at this new school, midyear, all of her chest pains and symptoms cleared up.

If you are listening to yourself and any of the sensations listed above are present and you have made sure it is not a physical illness, then the path you are considering at this time may not be the best option or best practitioner for you or your child.  As you explore the options for your child, listen within yourself. 

Please consider becoming very creative in finding the support you need.  The teacher who might be most beneficial for your child may not be the teacher in his/her classroom at school.  It may be a tutor or your friend or neighbor. The medical doctor who is the most helpful may be your friend or person you see on Oprah, Dr. Phil, Smart Women, or 60 Minutes.  The family or friend who supports you may be the therapist you pay, the teacher from school, or your husband.  Thinking outside the box can be a crucial part in finding the support you need.  Chris – please copy and paste the above paragraph, starting with “Please consider…” as a continuation of the opening paragraph.

If you have had an experience along these lines and would like for us to consider sharing it on our website to help support other families, please contact us at hello@21stcenturychildren.org.